Practically everyone learns about consent, and non-consent, from the time they were born until the time they are on a college campus. But, with the spike in sexual assaults on college campuses across the country, an integral question needs addressing now more than ever: what have people of the demographic really learned about consent? As this question and those of the like are addressed at Sonoma State’s “Consent, Please! A Call to Action for Consent Culture” meeting, held on Sept. 17, the workshop equips students with a better understanding of consent and its looming implications in a society proving lackluster on the matter.
The definition of consent is the permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. The state of California is a “Yes State,” which means an affirmative approval from someone, before engaging in anything, is required. Non-consent, on the other hand, witholds its spectrum of non-verbal, to passive, to sexual assault, to rape.
Carina, the event coordinator, cannot express enough how integral the act of seeking consent is to our lives. As an exemplary reminder, as Carina is asked, “how exactly do you ask for consent?” she says, “I ask if it is okay before I do absolutely anything. I do not have monopolies over people’s bodies.” This, among a multitude of key points Carina brings up when talking about consent; mainly, that we need to talk about consent explicitly and specifically with one another.
In any sexual interaction, both partners must engage in verbal discussion about it and both approve of whatever it is before reaching a consensus. Yet, every day we practice consent without even knowing it: by asking for someone’s permission to use something, or asking partners if he or she wants to go to lunch, the practice of consent is upheld daily. It is, rather, a matter of self-assigning a greater sense of obligation to consent-seeking over the underlying desires and irrational–even physically abhorrent–treatment of others to uphold said desires.
Surprisingly, with a plethora of useful information and verbal reminders on a matter of pure relevance to the Sonoma State community, the event only showcased about six people who came out to join in on the ever significant discussion, whether faculty or campus visitors–no students were in attendance. With rapes making huge headlines around the Sonoma State University community, especially those on campus, the Sept. 17 event proved worthy of hosting far more students in cementing supplementary education on a serious topic.
After attending the workshop herself, Susan Pulido, Sonoma State University’s confidential sexual violence advocate, says that, “I do a lot of work for the university. I try and do a lot of work on consent education. I am not always able to do programming as I am very busy supporting and advocating for survivors of sexual and domestic violence,” she continues, “how wonderful would it be for me to be able to delicate more time to the prevention work? This would work towards working me out of a job.”
The event coordinator, Carina, goes on to add that consent demands an ongoing practice and personal sense of responsibility. She says, “we should be practicing with friends or family and just keep making sure consent is used in the right situations.”
Yet, Rebecca, a guest at Sonoma State University, draws perhaps the most important point on the matter of consent and its presence, or lack thereof, in the media–the overarching tool for a flourishing, or further devolved future state of consent’s enactment by others in our own daily lives. Rebecca reminds, “social media, the broadest form of media worldwide, needs to do more in getting this topic out there; The ‘broader media’ is too afraid to bring it up because it is mainly sexual–like our parents are afraid to bring it up and it should not be like that. We should be able to learn this topic at a younger age.”
