When professors in my longer classes ask if we would rather have a break or end early, most students enthusiastically lobby for the latter, including me. Taking a break means actually having to talk to people.
That requires effort, and effort is scary. Imagine mustering up the courage to get out of my comfort zone only to end up having a beyond awkward conversation. Then that person finds someone else to sit with next class. I would rather not know someone than have someone think awkwardly of me. So it is ‘no thank you’ to potential rejection and ‘yes please’ for a vote to end early.
Social anxiety in the classroom is alarmingly dominating, which makes students prone to hiding on their phones. Alexandra Ossola of The Atlantic reports that the more time youth spend on their phones, in classrooms specifically, the more socially anxious they are prone to be. Phones put on a facade to hide our vulnerability when we are alone. Hiding even deeper in plain sight are the peers that seem fearless because they are actually having conversations with each other, basking in the safety of already having known each other prior.
The Anxiety and Depression Association of America reports that 15 million Americans suffer from social anxiety, including those that appear completely content on the surface. Discomfort has made isolation a social norm.
Fear not, there is a way out.
Step one: see how to justify staying safe and be able to admit it through reassurance. For example, I have friends in my sorority, so it does not matter that I do not know anyone in this class.
Being with my few closer sisters outside of meetings allowed me to feel comfortable believing this justification, making it possible to hide in plain sight with those friends during scary meetings, like those peers having conversations in class. However, upon admitting this justification, it was an excuse rather than truth.
With awareness comes step two: involvement. The more one says yes to opportunities, the more one begins to see the world not as scary as the consciencemakes them out to be. Say yes to leadership positions, yes to joining a club, or yes to helping when someone calls for it. The College of St. Scholastica reports, “Friendships form effortlessly when you share similar interests or passions with like-minded peers.”
Involvement is the gateway to surpassing the basics of just going to class for connection with others to fill the void that the brain alone cannot. Involvement develops the voice to speak up about it, leading to step three: own it.
When speaking aloud to another person, connect from an authentic place, acting in opposition of that very anxiousness that keeps me prisoner. Speaking up still feels scary, but the difference now is you are the one in control.
Life is a gift. We should not have to run from it in the classroom, or anywhere for that matter. Plain sight is not for hiding. It is the place to accept and better ourselves in the name of the gift we were born for.
