For many college students, romantic relationships are at the forefront of their lives. The One Love Foundation is on a mission to educate young people on what it means to love better. At first glance on their website (joinonelove.org), their key goal is to “educate young people about healthy and unhealthy relationships, empowering them to identify and avoid abuse and learn how to love better.”

One Love was founded in honor of Yeardley Love, who was beaten to death by her ex-boyfriend three weeks shy of college graduation. Love’s mother was worried for many things that could have happened to her daughter while she was off at college, but she never would have thought that her daughter would become a victim of domestic abuse.

Love’s mother writes that “relationship abuse is a public health epidemic and that young women in Yeardley’s age group are at three times greater risk than any other demographic.” Girls and women aged 16-24 experience intimate partner violence at three times more than the national average. Through this foundation, they educate young people about what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like and empower them to identify and avoid abuse all while learning how to love better.

Advocates and presenters with the One Love Foundation teamed up with Sonoma State to bring a presentation to the students. One of the main highlights of this presentation was a short film that showed all aspects of an unhealthy relationship. This film follows a couple who are deemed the “best couple on social media”, the picture-perfect relationship on instagram. We know that they are dealing with their real lives behind the social media posts. The man is verbally abusive, gaslights the woman, and starts to get physical when his anger builds up.

One of the most important slides in the presentation was the “ten signs of an unhealthy relationship.” A major sign is intensity, when someone expresses “very extreme feelings and over-the-top behavior that feels overwhelming.” Another big sign is guilting, when someone “makes you feel responsible for their actions or makes you feel like it’s your job to keep them happy.” The list of unhealthy traits goes on and on, including manipulation, isolation, and sabotage.

Keeping in mind that everyone can do unhealthy things sometimes, if you notice many of these signs in your relationship, it is important to pay attention to them and recognize that they could escalate to abuse. It is also very important to trust your gut and get help before things get worse.

Another focus from their website is the “healthy relationship signs” slides. Healthy signs include, but are not limited to; moving at a comfortable pace, trusting your partner to put your best interests first, being honest and truthful, and having independence outside of the relationship. Other things that are equally as important are being able to have healthy conflict when problems arise, and being able to have fun with your partner. Being with someone else should bring out the best in both of you equally.

One of the biggest clichés that we are taught in society is that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. One Love preaches that loving yourself is one of two of the most important things you can do in a healthy relationship. Their website says that the second one is that “Healthy relationships manifest themselves as healthy communication”. The combination of loving yourself and communicating well paves the path for a healthy long-lasting relationship.

Sarah Clegg, the Title IX officer for Sonoma State, attended the presentation and recalled how a long-time friend told her something that rings true to this day. “It’s possible to love someone and for that person to still be poison to you.” You aren’t obligated to stay in a relationship that is detrimental to your wellbeing just because you don’t want to let go.

Statistically speaking, over one in three women or one in four men will be in an abusive relationship. On top of these shocking statistics, about half of trans or non-binary people will be in an abusive relationship.Chances are that someone you know is or will be in an abusive relationship,so it is important to learn the signs to save our young people.

One Love has many workshops that you can access on their website that “start life-changing conversations about healthy and unhealthy relationships using captivating films, peer-to-peer discussions, and immersive activities.” To learn more about how to protect yourself and your loved ones, visit joinonelove.org.