It can happen to anyone regardless of sex, gender, race, class, age, appearance, or sexual orientation. It’s incredibly dangerous, and oftentimes the victims don’t fully understand what’s going on until it’s too late. The effects can stay with a person years after, if they can survive that long. Abusive relationships are responsible for thousands of deaths annually, and the effects linger long after the abuser is gone. There are different types of abuse such as mental, physical, financial, and emotional abuse, however all are equally detrimental. When searching for domestic abuse many articles and websites refer to the victim as ‘she’ and the abuser as ‘he’, however that’s not always the case. Abusive relationships can happen to anyone in the world, not just women. That’s not to say they aren’t one of the highest groups to be abused by a romantic partner, however male victims should be addressed as well. It’s important for abuse victims to find accurate information on the topic to help them before the situation becomes any worse.
It may come as a surprise, but a significant amount of men have been abused by a romantic partner. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence… and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner.” It’s not unusual for a man to be abused by his romantic partner, however it can be hard for them to identify the signs. Emotional abuse can be belittling the partner, controlling who the partner is with or sees, and isolating the partner from friends and family. Mental abuse is more along the lines of saying the abuse isn’t happening or saying they’re not the abuser and the victim is the abuser instead. This tactic is common, and easy for women to use since the typical abuser seen in media is male.
Mayo Clinic, a non profit academic medical center, explains that the victim “may not be sure whether [they’re] the victim or the abuser. It’s common for survivors of domestic violence to act out verbally or physically against the abuser…the abuser may use such incidents to manipulate [the victim], describing them as proof that [they] are the abusive partner.” It’s easy for women to accuse men of abusing them when the opposite is happening.
While women usually stick to mental and emotional abuse, they can be sexually, physically, and financially abusive as well. Some woman think it’s okay to hit her partner because her partner is bigger than her. It’s never okay to physically assault someone, even if the other person can ‘handle it.’ The argument that size difference justifies assault is ridiculous, unwanted physical contact can be identified as abuse. This includes sex acts as well. Society gives men the label that they’re all sex driven machines when that’s not the case. Not all men always want sex. They can be manipulated or forced into having sex by a partner just as any other person, and oftentimes others won’t believe them because of the stereotype that ‘every man wants sex.’
It’s harder for men to ask and receive help. Safer resources, an organization dedicated to helping victims of abuse, states that “men who are abused by their partners are often reluctant to admit it, or will cover up what is happening.” When men are suffering from any form of physical or mental ails they’re told to toughen up, and many male victims are disregarded. If someone reports they are being abused, they should be taken seriously, regardless of gender.
