I don’t think I’ve used a public restroom in four years. 

Whenever I’d go to school, I planned my day around avoiding restrooms as much as possible. It wasn’t worth the degradation of being forced to go into a weed-scented men’s room, nor worth the worse risk of being seen as a creep in the other. 

I hated P.E. class. Not because of the material —  I used to love exercise —  but being banned from basically every sport meant I had no reason to care. Sweaty, gendered P.E. locker rooms made me want to leave school early. I also found myself getting typecast in my supposedly progressive theater group while having to play a role of its own at home.

My highschool sucked. But it made me realize something:

This world wasn’t made for me.

Every time I go to the store, there’s a men and women’s section. When I hung out with a female friend, it was always seen as a crush. Always binary — “just the way things were.”

I’m a transgender woman —  one living in a world that doesn’t think I should exist.

You might have noticed on the news recently just how much transgender people are being blamed for the world’s problems. Trump has passed six anti-LGBTQ executive orders in his second term, with most of them targeted at transgender people, calling it “Transgender Lunacy.” The order,“Defending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government” has removed all references to “gender” in government forms, and been used to justify the removal of gender-neutral bathrooms in all government buildings or invalidate government documents of gender-nonconforming individuals.

Transgender people have sacrificed a lot to be themselves, with some undergoing extensive surgeries or hormone replacement therapy to fit into society more. But we still find ourselves banned from the military, most sports and now being laid off from government jobs.
Trump has been targeting the most vulnerable, banning transgender care for anyone under 19. Transgender youth have one of the highest suicide rates in the country. According to the National Library of Medicine, 82% of transgender people in the U.S. have considered suicide, and 40% have attempted it, with children being the most likely to. That’s about 10 times the national average of attempted rates.

LGBTQ+ people have fought so hard to even exist in this country. Yet hearing thousands of people cheer for our “lunacy” to be “erased” makes me feel like I don’t have a future here.

Even in progressive Sonoma State, I still find myself at risk. Four reported hate crimes targeting  LGBTQ+ people have taken place on campus since I arrived, including the school pride flag being stolen and vandalized twice.

The worst of it took place Oct. 10, 2024 when a right-wing group known as Turning Point USA arrived on campus as a part of an ‘outreach’ program. They decided to host a ‘real women’s day’ in one of the ballrooms — and despite the clear transphobic intention in the very title (the idea that trans women are not real women), the school administration allowed the event to proceed.

Shawn Ramus, the president of the WGS club on campus, warned the LGBTQ+ community about the event in an email. “This anti-trans meeting is in direct violation of the new TPM policy and a targeted harassment to all trans people on campus,” Ramus wrote. “TPUSA brings their own security when they speak on campuses. Do not confront these people. They will use any excuse to bring charges.” Ramus went on to organize a counter-protest outside the student center in response to the event.

While I understand the need to have diverse political viewpoints represented on campus, when a group is so blatantly targeting a minority group and brings armed security personnel that many students feel threatened by, something is deeply wrong with our school. It has me concerned how SSU will respond to Trump’s ‘DEI letter’ — that Sonoma State received — ordering schools to disband all diversity programs.

Sonoma State has done so many amazing things for LGBTQ+ students, with CAPS offering gender-affirming care and therapy services, Unity Housing offering gender-neutral dorms, and an amazing queer studies department.

I’ve felt more safe here than at any other institution I’ve attended —I just hope the administration deciding the future of these services isn’t the same one that allowed Turning Point USA onto our campus or tried to cut the Women’s and Gender Studies Department.

Despite everything that tries to erase us, transgender people exist. We might be a scapegoat right now, but we aren’t hurting anyone. In a world where billionaires pit us against each other to profit, people need to realize that minorities are not the real threat. The powers that divide us can be overcome. We just need help building a world —one that welcomes instead of divides.