Recently, a woman by the pseudonym of “Grace” exposed her unwanted sexual encounter with Aziz Ansari, a well-known feminist and respected actor, resulting in boundary lines and expectations of dating and sex to be blurred once again. Sexual assault has become too common; it is something that needs clearly defined, spoken of and changed.

“Grace” released her statement about her date night with Ansari to the website Babe, detailing the unwanted sexual encounters. Although she didn’t say no, Grace outlined to Babe her repeated attempts to push Ansari away and the looming feeling of uncomfortability with his actions the whole night. He ignored her obvious cues and continued to try to pressure “Grace” into sexual activities with him.

When questioned by CNN about these allegations, Ansari responded that he was “surprised and concerned” with what happened that night.

According the Pew Research Center, “More women than men say the issue of sexual assault and harassment is very important,” which explains this repeated problem. Most men do not understand sexual assault for what it is due to its normalization. The allegations against Ansari, along with others, open up numerous questions about our dating world, and expectations of men that our culture has become accustomed to.

In society today, there is a standard that the male is somewhat expected to pursue the woman, and the woman is often seen as submissive to the man. Often with dating there is a stigma that agreeing to go on a date with someone also includes sexual relations at some point during the night.

Ansari seemed to be making continued attempts until he reached his goal, ignoring the fact that “Grace” clearly did not have the same end goal for the night. If Ansari had taken a second and stepped back, instead of just looking out for his own interest, would he have even realized that there was an issue? Is this a societal normality to be expected of someone these days after going on a date? “Grace’s” situation seems similar to that of many women who are in a situation where saying no results in the man becoming upset because he feels she stripped him of the power in the dating world.

According to Babe, after the date Ansari texted “Grace,” telling her how good of a night he had. Her response was quite different, and she told him explicitly how uncomfortable she felt. “You may have said, ‘It’s okay, only fun if we’re both enjoying it, let’s just chill’ but within moments of that your fingers were down my throat. You were putting my hand on your dick.” The uncomfortable pressure that “Grace” was feeling during this date is one that many women have felt. Nowadays, women are reporting sexual misconduct more than ever and the authorities are taking action. Does this reflect individuals or a society?

The Pew Research Center states, “Overall, 66 percent of Americans say the recent allegations ‘mainly reflect widespread problems in society.’” Society has put pressure on men in dating situations to be the assertive ones when it comes to sex, which can lead to things being taken to far.

Sexual assault allegations are more common than ever and this clearly reflects the world and the current pressure to change it. It’s discussed in movies and TV shows; we have normalized it. This is a normality that we need to talk about in order for it to be changed by our society.